He was directly related to the previous owner of the one large competitor located in that neighboring town. His Uncle sold that business, our largest competitor in that region, to another couple several years ago. Since that sale, his opinion of the new owners was not very high. He described how many of the locals in that region were traveling outside of that small town to do their business. He felt it was time our model looked at expanding our business efforts into that neighboring town. I shared with him that we had recently developed a once per week plan and were currently seeing some nice growth servicing that region. He was surprised to hear that we were already making that expansion move. He added many good suggestions about how the dynamics work in that neighboring community. I listened to his tips.
I also shared with him some important stuff as well as refrained from sharing many other things we had already accomplished. I reminded myself during my friendly chat with him that I am not sure if he is an ally or an adversary. I was careful with what I shared. Good leaders do not tip their hand to those who have not proven which side of the fence they sit. Good leaders do not assume the ones with the friendly personalities are allies. We easily get trapped into believing that someone who treats us nice is on our side. Be careful, sometimes they come dressed in sheep's clothing. Control how we like to be tickled behind the ears. It can become one of our worst development traits. Always exercise caution in your business affairs.
I can spend hours describing where I made my most terrible mouth flapping mistakes. I can build a small library to house those wonderful errors. Be careful in how you share your plans. There are people quietly working out in this world who would delight in bringing your plans down. They will not arrive on the scene of your developments wearing the wolf clothing they eventually expose. Be careful in how you share your plans.
In my career I have discovered many times how an enemy was in my fort. Adversaries come in all sizes, shapes and forms. They do not always wear wolf clothing. Some of the worst offenders may actually be inside your organization gainfully employed. Never assume your organization cannot have these kinds of underwater movements. Once in awhile in my past I have discovered who my employed adversaries were usually when it is the worst time to have discovered it. Although it has not been a huge problem in my business history, it does occur. Pay closer attention to who runs ally and who runs adversary. Look deeper beneath the hidden clues.
One of the best ways to reduce this potential is to learn how to get your employees deeply involved in the changes you make. The more development and work for change they actually take on will easily reveal how much support they actually carry. When your employees are deeper involved with the changes you are trying to make they have less of a chance to continue to wear the sheep's outer shell. Sooner or later, they will need to take off the disguises they use to subvert what is being changed. The wolf will show up earlier in the development process. This gives your organization enough time to manage that distraction, early on in the process of change, and get on with producing a better winning way. The earlier you find the adversarial stuff the better your plans will develop with success. Do not be afraid to find the adversarial stuff. Every organization has its wares on this subject matter. Not everything is openly and completely accepted. Some developments you lead are not popular to support. You may discover that you are the last one to know about that perspective. I have worn those uncomfortable shoes.
I like what an old timer once told me, "Always exercise caution in your business affairs."
I remember a great lesson I learned from a dear customer from the past. She was a very special lady. She has since passed away so I can tell this story with complete respect. She died at an early age, 32. She came into my life and business in one of the most unusual ways. She came to my environment at a time when I was growing too much, too fast. I was beginning to get outside of myself and needed to find some more humbling experiences to manage. My arrogance was running well off the chart of tolerance. I was filling up my chest with a lot of hot air. My business world had turned the corner and was growing out of control. I was the president, the chairman, the big dog of nearly every little burp and supper group from college budget director to the chairman of the city planning department. I was the local Chamber's big dog. I even initiated and headed the formation of the still existing Downtown Development Organization. I was the up and coming hot shot on the local business scene. I looked like a local politician running for every single office. I was pretty proud of my clippings.
Then enter Sharon. One of my most memorable and cherished customers from the past. She came into my small furniture store with her personal assistant. She needed a new bed. She was out shopping for a new mattress to buy. She came into my store, parked her wheelchair in the front entryway and waited for someone to approach her. I heard voices talking up front so I walked up to see who it was. There was this frail looking little lady sitting in a wheelchair with a nurse-like assistant waiting for someone to greet them. I greeted them with respect. I asked them what we could do for them. As the conversation ensued, I quickly discovered that the frail little lady in the wheelchair could not speak or vocalize her words well enough to share. I naturally began looking to the nurse assistant to qualify what we could do for this customers. The conversation shifted to a formal set of product inquires which included the standard questions of who, what, when and where. It was a very sterile but respectful process. Sharon watched with pleading eyes. I was uncomfortable, to say the least.
Each time I gathered a confirmation type answer from the nurse assistant I would look at Sharon for an approval head nod. The nurse seemed to be bothered by the approach in communication I was taking. As a seasoned salesman should behave, I sensed that this communication process was not going well. I stepped next to Sharon, closer to her wheelchair and asked her if she would like me to bring down some of the mattress sets for her to try out. My mattress department was located upstairs in my furniture store. I did not have an elevator. It became very quiet for a minute or two. She was staring in space. I looked to the nurse for some facial clues as to what I should do here. The nurse turned away from my now pleading eyes. The nurse did not look happy with me. I recognized that this next step would be the beginning of my humble ways. I shut up and moved closer to the place where Sharon was sitting. She turned her head slightly away from where I was standing. I made the decision to shut up and wait. It seemed like ten minutes.
As I watched her sitting in that space, I noticed a little tear start to run down the side of her face. It was real and it was emotional. I stood in shock. This event happened in the early 1990's. On her lap was a device that looked like a small lap top computer. Keep in mind, no lap top computers had been fully developed in the marketplace during that time. This device was something that looked like a heavy but small miniature typewriter. It was resting in her lap. She then looked up to me with those unbelievably sad eyes. She tried to tell me her name. I could not make out that it was 'Sharon.' Her slurs were too tough for me to recognize. She then looked down and typed her name on the screen of the little device sitting on her lap. I turned my head to see who she was. I said, "Good morning, Sharon." I realized that I needed to slow down for a moment. She recognized my shift in mood. She was a better leader than I was.
She struggled to reach out and squeeze my knee that was next to her chair. It actually hurt a little bit. She then looked up at me and said with her eyes, "listen."
She began typing on the machine in her lap. It took a long time for her to type the message she wrote. I waited a long time for her to finish printing that message to me. Once in awhile I looked up to the nurse to make sure I was headed in the right communication direction. The nurses facial confirmations told me to stay put and listen. I did. When Sharon was done typing, she turned the device around so I could read what she wrote. This is what it said. "I am Sharon. I had a severe stroke last year. I am thirty years old. I have two sons. I love them dearly. My husband is divorcing me. He is moving to another town for a better job. He has won custody of my two boys. The courts determined he was better fit to care for them. They moved out last week. I need to get a bunk bed for them when they come to visit. I want you to pick it out for me. Make sure it is a good one. This is very hard to do. I love them a lot. Thank you." I was moved to a tear myself. My body became a sudden hot flash of emotions. I looked to the nurse to see if this was where we start. She nodded her head in support of the message Sharon shared.
I began to suggest this and that and take over to do what I was asked to do. Sharon again squeezed my knee. This time she typed this message. "What is simple for you to do is not easy for me to do. That does not mean you should speak for me. Ask me the questions then wait for my answer. I know it takes a lot of time, but it is all I have left to remain dignified in my life. Please listen to me, no matter how hard it is for you to do. Thank you." I said, "Well then, you are hired. You are my new boss. Tell me what you would like to do with this project and let's go get this ugly thing done! What are your sons names? Who is going to be sleeping on these new beds?"
It was one of the best lesson I could ever receive at a time when life was growing out of my control. Sharon was strategically placed to humble my ways. I delivered more stuff to her home during the next two years. I did get to meet her sons. I made sure every single delivery was performed by me personally. She eventually told me her therapy nurse was the one who recommended me to choose when she went shopping for the beds she needed. She later told me how much did not like me at first. She said she watched me grow up that morning at the front of my store. She said I reminded her of her sons and how much they have also grown up. Two years later, her nurse stopped by the store to inform me that Sharon had passed away from the complications her stroke produced. She said, "Thank you. You helped Sharon get through some very trying times." Do not become the silent adversary to the lives your customers lead. Sometimes adversaries do not even know when they are placing damage on the trail. We all need a 'Sharon' to come along once in awhile to wake our senses up.
I still respect what Sharon delivered to my life at that time. I took more from her than I could ever give back.
Be cautious in your business affairs. It matters more than you could ever imagine.
Until next time...
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