Are We Missing Something?

My wife and I have a great marriage.  We have been through some stuff that has helped us make our marriage become a great marriage.  I remember our first date almost 30 years ago.  I had the arrogance to tell this young woman riding in my car that I had another girl friend.  The young woman riding in my car was someone I barely knew.  She eventually became my wife.

We were going to a nearby town to have pizza in a small but popular pizza joint.  In a lot of ways, this first date was very awkward.  However, there was something about that date that captured my attention that night.  To this day I do not know what it was.  All I know is that I felt something about this lady that night that compelled me to talk about our future.  Somehow I felt we would begin seeing each other more often.  We both seemed nervous on that first date.  It was kind of odd.  Even though we did not know each other it felt as if I had known her for a very long time.  I was not trying to be arrogant when I told her I had a girlfriend.  I was trying to come clean.

I liked this young woman a lot.  She had something about her that was different than the other people I had become associated with in my sphere of influence.  I knew immediately that I liked her.  I knew it would be a good idea to come clean as soon as possible.  The sooner, the better.  Get it over with, now.  So I told her I had a girlfriend.  I told her in the car as we were going to the pizza joint.  That is making up my mind rather quickly, is it not?  I did not even wait until we had ordered the food on the first date to come clean with my situation.  I felt compelled to get it on the table early.  I have a girlfriend.

My date and future wife to be was silent.  She seemed straight faced about it.  She did a good job of hiding how much she did not admire my statement.  So I decided to describe my girlfriend relationship to her.  I told her I owned a business.  I told her my business sucks the life out of my time chips like a girlfriend might do.  I told her that I eat, drink and sleep the elements that involve my business.  I described to her how much my business means to me.  I described how much time I consume trying to find better ways to make my business more successful.  I told her how I sacrifice many things in my life to make sure my business model gets the right things done long before I do anything else in my life.  I told her my business is my girlfriend.  I told her that my girlfriend and I had a very serious relationship going on and it likely would not end.  I told her that if we started dating a lot more she would need to know how much my girlfriend meant to me.  I asked her if she was O.K. with that?  She answered with a relieved, "Yes."

Guess what?  We did begin to date a lot.  Eventually we got married.  We are heading closer towards the thirty year mark of marriage.  However, that girlfriend deal did not work as well as I thought it might.  We have had many issues of a tragically serious nature about how much time I spend with my girlfriend.  I have heard many times the question, are we missing something?

Vertical alignment is serious business.  I have come to learn how vital a business owner needs to prepare his life plan better than his business plan.  If an owners life plan sucks, no business success can cover it up with enough sweetness to make it worth the time it took to build.  Some attention to performing better balance in life management is required for a business owner to truly enjoy the success they produce.  For every owner who missed this fact, I will pray for you.  Your personal life is and has been on fire.  It may have already shown its burnt remains.  Your girlfriends do become serious issues to your family.  Make no doubt about it.  Your spouse, your family and your friends need to become very important to you and how you respect them while you work on managing your business model.  There is plenty of time for all of them.

Every business owner needs to develop a vertically aligned plan to help them guide their life management methods.  If your personal life is a wreck, your business model will suffer.  If you do not address this kind of respect in your business plan, you are guaranteed to have some business and personal collisions in the future that will create bumps in the road that will interfere with your ability to succeed.  Guaranteed.

My wife is my girlfriend.  Period.

I had to learn how to re-align myself.  I had to come clean.  I had to quit hiding from everything else in life and learn how to share my business interests with the things in life that mean so much more.  To some of you who are intensely involved with your business models, beware.  You might excuse yourself from the world of needs within the relationships you have that surround your life, but if you place your business model ahead of all of them, you will eventually lose.  It is certain to happen, if it already has not.  Some of you know exactly what I mean.  If you do not have your alignment vertically set to respect what should be respected first, you are headed for a crash course on missing something.

Are we missing something?

Let me suggest an alignment arrangement that works well.  Let me also state that if you have not set this type of alignment in order you will eventually need to make these alignment adjustments or learn how to live with the consequences that kick out of your path for being off-target with them.

If you are off-target with them right now, your path is already kind of bumpy.  I know.  I do not even need to know you to know this is true.  All I need to know is that if you skipped the work to properly align your vertical interests in life, your business path is suffering from the improper alignment you have arranged.  It is a law.  All you will do is confirm it.

Here is what I suggest.  Place your vertical alignment in this order of importance.  One, God.  Two, spouse.  Three, family.  Fourth, business.  Fifth, self.

You will notice there is no suggestion to add your secretary to this list.  There is no suggestion to add your competition to this list.  There is no suggestion to add a particular employee to this list.  There is no suggestion to add a hobby to this list.  There is no suggestion to add a personal vice to this list.  However, there is an umbrella that covers all five on the list.  That umbrella is to manage your health well.  Watch your stress levels.  Eat well.  Sleep well.  Exercise.  Find time to rest and renew.

As much as we share about how to build a successful business model, skipping these important elements in your trek will certainly offer enough pain and interference to make sure your model does not win.  Do not assume you are operating with these proper respects in their 'right' order.  If you are out of alignment, your business model is suffering.  You might be too stubborn to accept this truth.  I was.  I had to almost destroy it all to get it right.  Learn how to write a good plan.  Make sure you include how you will live your life with the respect it deserves.  Make sure you include your girlfriend and the family they bring along.  Make sure you are healthy enough to enjoy what you have built.  Make sure you give back what was gifted to you.  Make sure you truly know who owns it all.  You are not the sovereign one.  Get over it.

To the first business owner who does not think this kind of planning is important...I can introduce you to some very successful business owners who live a very messed up life.  It is not worth it.  I counsel some of them right now.

Are we missing something?

No, I think that pretty much covers it.

Until next time...